The Ultimate Enya Interview:

UEI: Part 1
UEI: Part 2
UEI: Part 3
UEI: Part 4
UEI: Part 5
UEI: Part 7
UEI: Part 8
UEI: Part 9
UEI Part 10

The Ultimate Enya Interview

Part 6

COT: Enya, may I say I love your accent, even though I find you hard to comprehend. You seem to, well, mumble.

E: I don't mumble! I went to convent school and learned to e-nun-ci-ate very carefully. Or, was it e-Nun-ci-ate?? Oh well, it was a long time ago.

COT: Did you get a good education?

E: I am the richest women in Eire - does that answer your question?


Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 02 May 2002 00:37:50

E: Geesh, all I said was "Cats" and that's my very favourite musical; it's the one by Andrew Floyd Webfoot, the famous Irish composer.Let me sing for you:

"Midnight, all alone in the moonlight..."

(COT rushes back on stage.)

COT: Oh my, that sounded like a cat being killed!

E: No, you're thinking of bagpipes!

COT: Of course. Now where were we?

E: I was Enya W. Enya, President of the USA.

COT: Right, and what will you do in foreign affairs?

E: Won't have any.

COT: Excuse me?

E: All my affairs will take place in Ireland!

COT: No, no, I mean your foreign policy, as in the MIddle East.

E: Where's the Middle East?

COT: In the middle of the east!

E: Which way is east?

COT: Never mind. What about foreign aid? Will you send money to help starving children?

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 02 May 2002 02:43:45

E: Of course Iíll send money to starving children!

COT: Do you have a heart for charity?

E: I do. But more like a heart for children. I just love children.

COT: You havenít got any of your own, have you?

E: *shaking her head* No, not yet.

COT: Not yet?

E: I told you, itís like a chess game. A very complicated one.

COT: Ever feel like youíre fighting a losing battle?

E: *sighs* Sometimes, but we all have our days. Iím very happy. I count my life as a good one.

COT: You must be the real Enya, not the Double Trouble Double. When did she disappear?

E: Copperfield just sort of zapped me in.

COT: Heís amazing. Do you know any magic tricks?

E: I can pull a quarter out of your ear.

COT: Thatís not very original.

E: I can slurp a cat through a straw.

COT: *rolling her eyes* Copperfield must have just switched Enyas.

E: Cyanide, do you have any pets?

COT: I have a dog named Bentley.

E: Have you any cats?

COT: NO, I do NOT.

E: No need to snap, you meanie.

COT: I am not a meanie!

E: You are too!

COT: Am not!

E: Are too!

COT: Am not!

[Roma rushes in]

R: STOP, I command thee! *suddenly dead silence* That�s better. Now, I think weíve talked enough about Enya. Letís talk about me, shall we?

COT: Have you got your hatchet on you?

R: *pulls it out of her Magic Bag* I do. So I suggest you agree with me.

COT: *smiling for her life* Excellent, Roma dear! Do have a seat onstage.

R: Thank you, Cyanide. *sits down*

COT: So Roma, just where do you come up with all the inspiration for your lovely lyrics?

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 02 May 2002 20:07:33

(Suddenly, Enya steps on stage and glares at Roma; Roma blows up.)

E: Now, that's much better, isn't it?

COT: But, you just blew up your lyricist!!

E: I'll bring her back when I need her. It's easy Ė David Copperfield showed me how.

COT: Enya, may I say I love your accent, even though I find you hard to comprehend. You seem to, well, mumble.

E: I don't mumble! I went to convent school and learned to e-nun-ci-ate very carefully. Or, was it e-Nun-ci-ate?? Oh well, it was a long time ago.

COT: Did you get a good education?

E: I am the richest women in Eire - does that answer your question?

COT: Sort of. I was. like, thinking of your intellectual pursuits.

E: I love purses and suits, especially black ones!

COT: Enya, do you read books?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 02 May 2002 20:43:54

E: I read them, see them, hold them and dust them!

COT: You do read then?

E: Please refer to previous comment.

COT: I think it's the Enya double again.

E: No. David just swapped us again. I didn't blow Roma up. That was Roma's double.

COT: First you and then Roma..heavens no wonder the fans are lost at times!

E: No they're not. They just stop by and ask for directions to Manderley Castle.

COT: Uh Oh..it's the double trouble double again ???

E: Only David calls me that, COT!

COT: Please don't flash those eyes at me.... I Want Tomorrow too!

E: I shall not charge you at first mention but at second mention of that song title I am entitled to royalties!

COT: Don't you meet them at every World Music Event ? *Ponders silently...Methinks this is the double again *

E: I know the difference COT...

COT: I know them too....

(A flash of smoke and sparks later... COT finds that Enya and Enya have disappeared but along comes a garbed figure in a cloak clutching a stick and hatchet.

The figure speaks...."I think it's time for you to interview me! That disruption earlier was a little misunderstanding among myself, David and the Enya double!")

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 02 May 2002 23:07:52

COT: Sorry, but this is "The Ultimate ENYA Interview". If you want your OWN interview, set it up with Dom of the Web!! Now, folks, let's welcome ENYA back. She's been resting a bit, with a bottle of something in her hand.

E: What a nice break. Now, where were we?

COT: At this point, who knows? Let's get back to books. What is your favourite book?

E: Well, I would have to say Lord of the Rings. I have to say that because that's what I told that Movie Director guy. Actually, it's Anne of Green Gables.

COT: I don't know that one.

E: You ninny, you never read the "Anne" books! What, children in Japan even read the Anne books.

COT: Who's Anne?

E: Anne of Green Gables!! YOu some kind of literary moron?

COT: Now, now, no nasty names.

E: But that's what I learned at convent school. That and bowling.

COT: Have you read any books that I might recognize?

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 03 May 2002 02:09:35

E: Harry Potter!

COT: You read children's books?

E: No, I read Harry Potter.

COT: And you like them?

E: Harry and I go way back. We used to bowl together.

COT: You're kidding!

E: We almost won the championship one year, but they disqualified us after I blew up another team's ball.

COT: Now that's not very good sportsmanship.

E: I play rugby on weekends.

COT: Aren't you a little tiny to be playing a sport like rugby?

E: Nonesense, I win every game. In fact, I'm the only person on my team. I play against a whole team of full grown men and I always win!

COT: How do you manage that?

E: My diet gives me energy...and extra agility.

COT: Don't say it, please.

E: *whispering* Cats...

COT: *covering he ears* So, tell me about your favorite television programs.

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 03 May 2002 14:13:09

E: I love ER, but they've just killed Dr. Greene.

COT: Enya, it's not real; it's just a TV show.

E: But I loved Mark!

COT: So did Elizabeth!

E: What the Queen of England loved my Mark? What about Philip?

COT: Will never know, maybe someone hit him with a cream pie when he was a baby.

E: You've gotten off the Mark, Cyanide.

COT: Oh well, all punning aside, Enya, why do you watch ER?

E: No puns?

COT: No puns allowed.

E: Oh well, I just love the buckets of ketsup they use on every show.

COT: You like that stuff?

E: No, I like blood, but Roma keeps it all to herself, so I settle for Heinz.

COT: Heinz? So you DO have a boyfriend!!

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 03 May 2002 16:13:12

E: Actually Sergei is tops together with Wolfgang! Who is Heinz?

COT: You can't remember him? You just mentioned his name!!

E: Silly I meant a certain sauce maker. You know Heinz was first and later a wanna be like Lady's Choice came into the picture and then that hunky Newman's Own!

COT: My ..you do have eclectic taste.

E: In salad dressing??

COT: Er yes..salad dressing ..heavens what was I thinking?

E: I like Sergei for company though and Wolfgang too!

COT: You don't have to mention it if you're not comfortable.

E: I'm extremely comfortable. Velvet does that to me.

COT: Who are these Sergei and Wolfgang hunks??

E: Sergei as in Rachmaninov and Wolfgang as in Mozart, Cyanide. Heavens... what were you thinking ??

COT: Stars above

E: I can only see the roof.

COT: Are you the real Brennan or the Double Trouble Brennan?

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 03 May 2002 16:26:40

E: That's for me to know and for you to figure out!

COT: Oh, what the ...., Enya, tell us about Rachmaninov.

E: He was a Russian who wrote beautiful music, like I do.

COT: Modest, aren't we?

E: Sarcasm doesn't become you, Cyanide. Anyway, Rach, as I call him, wrote FOUR really BIG piano concertos that I am now studying since I now have a really BIG piano.

COT: Will you be giving a concert?

E: Oh no, whe're not getting back to that old topic, are we?

COT: I meant a concert of Rach's piano concertos!

E: Well, I've just learned the first five bars of no. 1, so it will take a little more time.

COT: You DO work slowly, don't you?

E: Well, you see, I intend to play it using twelve BIG pianos, for that

layered sound, you know.

COT: How can one person play 12 pianos?

E: It's easy with my Enya-matic Extender (TM). You see, you put one of these babies on each arm and, lo, you have extra fingers made of plasticine. You put your real hand on piano 1, then attach plasticine 2 to piano 2 and then "on and on again"...

COT: You're an ABBA fan!

E: Well, yes, I prefer the A B B A rhyme scene, although Roma prefers A B A B. She's so strange, that Roma.

COT: Yes, and we'll all know how strange she is when you tune into "The Ultimate Roma Ryan Interview" appearing on our sister station, WKFF.

E: That's a shameless plug!!

COT: Of course, the host is my sister, Mary Murphy. You have sisters, don't you?

E: Yes, but I don't let them upstage me.

COT: Sibling rivalry?

E: I'm "Enya in the Middle" - what do you expect. I never got any respect until the Orinoco flowed.

COT: How do you all get along now?

E: Very well, thank you, they all work for me, mostly in the castle, though Bart's at the bar. Hey, what a neat title, "Bart's at the Bar." I must give that one to Roma.

COT: Would you like to say anything more about classical music?

E: Like the Beatles?

COT: Like Rachmaninov!! You said he's your favourite composer. Why?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 05 May 2002 06:58:41

E: When I was a wee lass I used to practise his pieces until I collapsed on the keyboards. I liked his works so much!

COT: You were a fan then?

E: Obviously but then I figured that I had to hear his pieces often so I bought every compilation in the store. Then I played the records until the record needle broke! Mammy and Daddy were happy about it.

COT: I don't get it!

E: I played his records louder than my daddy's band's rehearsals!

COT: A great relief then when the needle broke.

E: Yes I was quiet for awhile but not for long. I started playing his pieces again on the piano.Later when everyone thought my interest in record players were gone ,I got into Rock 'n' Roll.

COT: What did your parents think?

E: There was no trouble as long as I played Rock 'n' Rock on the piano in Gaelic!

COT: Was it difficult to ..er..translate.. ?

E: No ..whatever you had trouble translating you just turn the blank spaces and substitute with 'o-ro', 'o-ray' 'o-way', 'hmmm hhmmm', 'Oh oh', 'hey hey' and of course 'yeah yeah'!

COT: Egad! It's the double talking again!

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 05 May 2002 15:07:31

E: Double? Why would you assume that? Can't the real Enya be off her rocker, too?

COT: I don't think I know my own name anymore.

E: Cyanide O'Toole.

COT: Thank you, Enya.

E: My name isn't Enya. It's Howard.

COT: *twitching* It's nice to meet you, Howard.

E: Likewise, Cyanide. Can I share something that happened to me on the way to the studio yesterday morning?

COT: Please do, Howard. *pops a few pills*

E: I met a man named X. He pulled me aside and asked if he could read me a poem he had just written. I agreed. It was so beautiful, so meaningful. I can still remember every line...

I have a dog,

His name is Jim.

Carrots are good,

On cold Friday mornings.

I like my brown dog Jim.

And carrots taste good to me.

E: *sniffing loudly* Wasn't that something, Cyanide?

COT: Yes, but I'm not quite sure that something is poetry.

E: It's because it doesn't rhyme, isn't it?

COT: No.

E: Yes it is! You lie! You're one of those uneducated commoners who thinks poetry must rhyme in order to be "good"!

COT: That worthless babble was not poetry!

E: Go back to kindergarten, you fool of a 'Toole! It was!

COT: And to think, I thought you had good taste when it came to such things.

E: I think you're an imbecile.

COT: Do you think I could get NASA to enlist you in their space program?

E: Why?

COT: First off, having you three million miles away from ME is a VERY comforting thought. Second, perhaps they could conduct research on you in zero gravity to find the root of INSANITY.

E: Roma did that for her vacation last summer. The results were inconclusive. *a pop! suddenly arises from her purse* Oh! Looks like some more toast is ready. Cyanide?

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 05 May 2002 15:42:05

COT: Enya, at this rate your career is going to be toast!

E: Could you put peanut butter on it?

COT: Not on YOUR toast, kiddo. You're enough of a nut already.

E: You should talk! I think I'll blow up your car again. What one is yours now?

COT: It's a mini austin.

E: Austin Powers! He's so fab.....

(Enya stares out the window and blows up a Rolls Royce belonging to Roma. She has no idea that it belongs tp Roma.)

COT: My car is parked over there, by the trash can.

E: Figures. I wonder whose car I blew uo then?

(RR rushes in with a hatchet, swings at Cyanide and glares at Enya. Enya looks back at her and Nicky is blown up.)

E: My powers increase every day.

COT: Austin Powers?

E: Are you an imbecile?

COT: Probably. I could be home watching "The Weakest Link" instead of doing this stupid interview with an empty head!

E: Cyanide, you ARE the weakest link. Goodbye!

COT: No way, this is MY show.

E: Wanna bet?

(Suddenly Mary Murphy appears and pushes COT out the door, saying "go

interview her royal highness Roma next door"...)

E: Hi, Mary, that's an interesting perfume you're wearing.

MM: Why, thank you! I knew you'd be much more pleasant than that Ryan woman.

E: Yes, she so superior to everyone. I used to have to address her as "Your Imperial Majesty" until the Orinoco Flowed.

MM: What happened then?

E: I blew up her car and threatened to clone Ebony.

MM: And she became nicer to you?

E: No, she just became more devious. And bought a new car with money that I had made!!

MM: Well, aren't you all a team? Shouldn't you share the profits?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 06 May 2002 04:26:23

E: Yes we share profits. When the record company issues a cheque we all try to be the first to jump and get the cheque before the others do.

MM:Does the cheque ever get torn?

E: No..it's issued on shred proof paper. Recently we made them chop proof and piranha proof.

MM:It must be hard to share like that. What happens when someone gets the cheque?

E: Bank the money equally into the bank account but set it up under a trust fund. RR set up a fund for me claimable when I am 115 years old. Myself in turn made an account payable to RR when she's 999 years old. When Nicky got the cheque he was very nice and turned it over equally to us all.

MM:Why is that so? Does he find it trivial with all these tit for tatting?

E: Roma had a hatchet above him and I jammed his left arm with my trusty piano stool.

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 06 May 2002 16:48:39

MM: Don't you find this kind of lifestyle, well, trying?

E: Yes, I do, especially when I never wanted to be a musician in the first place.

MM: What, you wanted to do something else?

E: Yes, as a Child I dreamed of being a synchronized swimmer.

MM: Excuse me?

E: Sure, whatever. Anyway, I thought all five of the Brennan sisters could wear those adorable litle nose plugs, learn to smile and breathe at the same time, wear really cute swimsuits, and perform to a Rachmaninov concerto.

MM: You've got to be kidding!

E: No, but there was one problem.

MM: Which was, like. you couldn't swim?

E: Oh no, we could all swim, but Maire refused to smile and breathe at the same time and nearly drowned. What a party pooper she used to be. So, there I was in music, in HER band, yet.

MM: Alas for the athletic world, I'm sure.

E: Oh, I'm still into sports. Right now, I'm learning to golf. By the way, did you know that golf backwards is flog?

MM: Are you going to flog this interview to death?

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 07 May 2002 03:11:51

E: No, but Iím seriously considering flogging you.

MM: Iíve come to the conclusion that you have a violent streak, and Iíve known you for about six minutes.

E: Lies, all lies!

MM: Have you lied at all during this interview?

E: I can not tell a lie.

MM: I think you just did.

E: Iím perfect in every way. Donít worry, youíll learn by the time we break for a commercial.

MM: Is there anything youíd like to say to the people out there in EnyaLand?

E: Send me money.

MM: Havenít you got money?

E: When we did the check jump last week, Roma managed to snag it before I did.

MM: What a shame! And you didnít snag anything?

E: *holds up a clump of Romaís hair* Only this.

MM: Thatís disgusting. But I suppose that wonít get you as far as a check.

E: Oh, quite the contrary. I auctioned it off on Ebay to some obsessive Roma fan for 100,000 pounds!

MM: Does Roma know that?

E: I gave him her phone number, so probably.

MM: *shocked* Enya, thatís horrible! Now poor Roma is going to be harassed by late night telephone calls!

E: Hey, at least it saves me the trouble of doing it myself.

MM: I think you and Roma have some issues that need to be resolved.

E: Oh, thatís nothing compared to what Iíve done to her before.

MM: Such as?

E: You know those matchmaking services?

MM: Oh dear.

E: I had her profile advertised on a billboard in New York City. There was quite a response. And only 73% percent of those who responded had criminal records!

MM: What did the billboard say, dare I ask?

E: ĎHi, my name is Roma and I enjoy moonlit skies, long walks on the beach, and spending quality time with you. Call me now at 1-800-411ROMA.í

MM: Enya, I canít believe you would stoop to such lowliness!

E: Believe it.

MM: You should be ashamed of yourself!

E: I probably should be. But Iím not.

MM: What kind of a friend are you?

E: Can I ask the audience?

MM: What goes around comes around, Enya. Iíd remember that if I were you.

E: Thank goodness you arenít me.

MM: Iím beginning to regret switching with Cyanide.

E: And Iíve been regretting this interview. I really should have opted for Big Brother.

MM: Wouldnít that conflict with your privacy?

E: I figure if I let people see the real me, theyíd shut up and leave me alone.

MM: Out of satisfaction?

E: No, more like fright.

MM: If you could choose the other participants on Big Brother, who would you choose?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 07 May 2002 14:36:13

E: Little Brother and Big Sister!

MM:??????

E: Gee...what are those question marks MM? You look funny with them above

your head!

MM:That's a language I have mastered through years of hosting interviews.

E: What's it called?

MM:Sign language.

E: Can I tell SAY SOMETHING about Roma?

MM:ONE thing or more than ONE since something might be singular or plural?

E: I bet you were a Grammar teacher in another life!

MM:That's what my fortune teller Lady Olga tells me.

E: I don't have any known relatives with a name like that.

MM:What is it that you wanted to say about Roma?

E: She's been renovating Manderley Dungeon on my behalf.

MM:Is she converting it into guestrooms?

E: Yes indeed. For my fans who misbehave!

MM:Namely?

E: Namely those who have been letting out more than their share of a story in here!

MM:Any idea who these so-called fans are?

E: * puts hand into pocket and a roll of parchment is unfurled* Let's see ..they are ... tell you what MM..you read out the names!

MM:I don't want to steal your thunder!

E: It's okay dear..I still have the power to generate lightning to blow up cars at will!

MM:That's an implied consent!

E: Actually I have trouble reading Roma's scribbles!

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 07 May 2002 15:24:17

MM: Then how can you read her lyrics?

E: Oh, that's why I use so many da-das and oro-orays - I can't read a thing she writes. These names she's written, for example, include something called Princess Donegal and I happen to know that there are NO princesses in Donegal, and I am the Queen of Donegal, so there!

MM: Perhaps that's a "handle"?

E: Now why would Roma want to put a pot into the dungeon?

MM: Never mind, Enya, what happens to people who end up in your dungeon?

E: They eat a lot of meat from little round cans. But they have to fight the cats off first. Then I come and sing to them.

MM: Really?

E: Well, no, I just lip-synch, but they seem happy enough. I just can't figure them out?

MM: Your fans?

E: No, the cats. You know, your perfume reminds me of Mush-Mush.

MM: Cyanide told me to wear it.

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 08 May 2002 02:49:29

E: Mary, did you know I eat cats?

MM: No I didnít. Is that healthy?

E: Very. You smell like a cat.

MM: Do you like it?

E: Itís making my tummy rumble.

MM: Um.. *nervously* You arenít going to eat me, are you?

E: Im thinking about it.

MM: Oh please don�t eat me, Enya! I�m too young to be eaten!

E: *beckoning with her finger* Come closer, Mary.

MM: N-no, I don�t think that would be the best of ideas!

E: I haven�t had lunch yet today, you know.

MM: I can get you something! A sub? A nice salad? A big, juicy steak?

E: I try to stay away from red meat.

MM: What kind of meat is cat?

E: Itís white meat, like chicken.

MM: Then how about a savory chicken?

E: How about I eat you?

MM: How about you donít?

E: Enough of the useless chatter. Itís feeding time! *she lunges at MM* *suddenly thereís a RING!!! from Enyaís cell phone*

E: *backs away from MM* Drat. Lunch will have to wait. *answers the call* Hello?

Maire: Hi Eithne! How are things?

E: Maire, Iíll have you know that because of your call, my lunch has escaped me.

Maire: Oh, Iím sorry. What were you having?

E: Mary Murphy. She smells like a cat.

Maire: Speaking of lunch, thatís what I called about. Didnít we have a lunch date set for this afternoon?

E: Oh dear, I completely forgot! Iím so sorry, Maire. Why donít you drop by the show? Iíll share some of my meal with you, though you never did approve of my choice of food.

Maire: Iíll skip on eating Mary, but Iíll be over in a second. *click*

E: Mary, I have grand news! My sister is coming to visit!

MM: When will she be here?

Maire: *drops down through the ceiling* Hello, Eithne! Hello, Mary!

E: *running to hug her sister* Hello, Maire!

MM: Since youíre here, Maire, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?

Maire: Go right ahead. *takes a seat next to Enya*

MM: So Maire, I understand you and Enya used to be in a band together.

Maire: Yes, thatís right.

MM: Care to elaborate on your experiences?

E: *nudging her sister* Feel free to lie.

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 08 May 2002 19:17:34

Maire: Well, she was a really sweet kid, but wouldn't sing Danny Boy; just keep going da-da-da and oro-oray, till it drove me nuts. That was after she had tried to get me into synchronized swimming, too. Actually, I think I'm the only sane Brennan sister.

(Enya glares at Maire; she blows up and disappears.)

E: Well, it is MY interview, you know. I'll have Scotty beam her back to Gweedore. Now, where were we?

MM: I'm not sure. I think you wanted a lunch break or something.

E: Oh forget it. I ate Donegal Porridge this morning - won't be really hungry for awhile. I sprinkle Guinness on it, with a little Bailey's on top. Really gets one UP for the day.

MM: Yes..Enya, I know we've covered a lot of territory, but I still want to ask: What would you be doing if you weren't a superstar, New Age Queen?

E: Hhmmm...Well, not styling hair, that's for sure. Maybe I'd sell sweaters at Magees in Donegal? Or maybe I'd run a home for homeless cats? Hard to say. I suppose I could join the Daughters of Gweedore.

MM: The Daughters of Gweedore?

E: Yes, that's a group of middle-aged women who wear purple hats and do good deeds.

MM: Like?

E: Buying booze at Leo's, taking piano lessons from Baba, giving Bart more toasters, and (above all) worshipping ME!

MM: So, how could you become a Member?

E: Good point - must keep the public IMAGE alive.

MM: Are you happy with your public image?

E: What is it? I don't get out much, you know.

MM: That you are a reclusive, shy, timid, cat-loving madwoman who roams the halls of a haunted castle where you imprison your fans!

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 09 May 2002 04:00:32

E: Yes, that sounds about right.

MM: So youíre fine with your image?

E: What can I say? Itís the real me. People need to accept me for who I

am.

MM: A psychotic lunatic?

E: Look here, Mary, just because I eat cats, just because I lock myself up in my castle for months on end, just because I can blow things up with my eyes, it does not mean Iím a psychotic lunatic.

MM: Enya, do you ever hear voices?

E: Oh yes, hundreds of them.

MM: And what do these voices say to you?

E: Oro-oray, dadadadaí oro-oray, dadadadada

MM: Never anything more specific?

E: Send me money.

MM: The voices tell you to send them money?

E: No, fool, Iím telling you to send me money.

MM: What is it with you and this Ďsend me moneyí thing?

E: Um, I want money. Lots and lots of money! I want the pie in the sky! I wanna be rich!

MM: You are rich.

E: That little Gates man is still ahead of me. I wonít rest till heís a penniless bum compared to me.

MM: Youíre going to have to sell a lot more albums to make that kind of money.

E: Thatís why Iím asking you to send me money. It will go faster that way.

MM: Right. Can we get back to the interview now?

E: Oh, I suppose. Just send me money.

MM: Yes. On that note, where do you see yourself in ten years?

E: Putting the finishing touches on my next album.

MM: And that will be how many albums from now?

E: One?

MM: My, you do work slowly.

E: You canít rush the creative genius.

MM: Of course. Now then, do you see yourself with a family?

E: A family of kitties. I love kitties.

MM: No, I meant a husband and some children.

E: I like husbands and children, too.

MM: Are you planning on getting some?

E: Kitties?

MM: A husband and some children?

E: I think I might run to the Little Shoppe of Husbands within the next year or so and pick myself up one. During the sale, of course. Send me money.

MM: Is that how itís done in Gweedore? You go to the store to buy a husband?

E: Oh, absolutely! And the Baby Peddler sells the babies. Donít you know anything?

MM: Donít be silly, people donít sell babies!

E: They do in Gweedore. Thatís where all my brothers and sisters came from.

MM: I donít suppose you were in the half-off bin, were you?

E: Yep. Thatís why Iím so small. Half-off. HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, I made a funny!

MM: That wasnít very funny.

E: Yes it was, you fool. You have absolutely no sense of humor. How about this onE: A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it. "Tiny" replies the man. "Why's that?" asks the bartender. "Because he's my newt!" HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, that was good, wasnít it?

MM: *shaking her head sadly* I think itís time for a commercial.

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 09 May 2002 13:55:56

ANNOUNCER: Buy Donegal Porridge, it will make you feeling strong as a cat and wise as Enya.

THE BBC interrupts this commercial to alert you guys that Britain is being invaded and you don't even care cause you're not watching the OTHER interview!! And now back to our regular program:

MM: Well, here we are, back to our regular program. Enya, are you really just a regular human being?

E: Well, I eat Donegal Porridge and lots of other fiber so I'm very regular. IN fact,

MM: Enya. let's go somewhere else, ok?

E: Oh yes, I LOVE travelling so much.

MM: Ok, so what places are special to you?

E: Besides Mars?

MM: Yes, dear.

E: Well, there Jupiter, Venus, Saturn and that goofy dog Pluto.

MM: I'm mean here, on Earth! What COUNTRIES do you like to visit?

E: Anywhere is where they buy my CDs. Rush out and buy my CDs. Rush out and...............

MM: That's enough now. Do you like the USA?

E: Hey, I am President Enya W. Enya, of course I like the USA! Don't you pay attention to your own interview? You're just like Bridin, she never listens to me.

MM: Can't fault her on that.

E: Sorry, I missed that mumble.

MM: I said, how about Japan?

E: No thanks, I never eat that stuff, it's raw you know.

MM: So, that half bin bit IS true.

E: Yes, Grandma found me there after May 1st, in the post May Day sell off bin.

MM: That's right, You have a birthday coming up. What's the best birthday gift you ever received?

E: A wonderful book, put together by my adoring fans.

MM: The famous Book of Days?

E: No, Keyboard for Dummies. I read it every day and always find something new, like one of my cats leaving its..

MM: Thank you, Enya! Now, let's turn to some e-mail questions from our listeners. Are you ready?

E: No, I'm Enya.

MM: Well, ENYA, something called Opera Ghost wants to meet with you at midnight, all alone in the moonlight.

E: I break out in hives under the light of the moon. Send my regrets.

MM: Well, here's Eliot, inviting you to Greece!

E: Oh, Grease! I just love that show, especially the one with John Revolta in it.

MM: OK, here's one from Dom of the Web. It asks, can you spin?

E: Well, I weave a lot when I walk. Is the spin a new dance?

MM: Hmmm. here's one from Princess Donegal, who asks...

E: Nope, won't take questions from an imposter. Tell her to email back with a less offensive name.

MM: Enya, these are the people who make you rich and famous? Don't you want to communicate with them?