The Ultimate Enya Interview:

UEI: Part 1
UEI: Part 2
UEI: Part 3
UEI: Part 5
UEI: Part 6
UEI: Part 7
UEI: Part 8
UEI: Part 9
UEI: Part 10

The Ultimate Enya Interview

Part 4

"Yes, I play all the instruments. I used to have guest artists, but you know how it is with guests: they eat all the food, run up the phone bill, and leave towels on the floor."

Reply author: Green_Meadows
Replied on: 25 Apr 2002 01:26:30

E: Don't be ridiculous. Do you always ask this nonsense at interviews?

(COT begins to answer when E interupts)

E: Oh never mind. Shall we continue...

COT: Ahm, of course. So who's this Bart character?

E: I'll pass on that question

COT: But why. You just mentioned his name, I'm sure people will be curious as to what role he plays/played in your life.

E: (totally ignoring the question) speaking of plays have you heard of the "Vagina Monologue?" (smiles to herself) doesn't the name just gets to you?

COT: (resigns herself and has made a decision to just flow with E) I have heard of it but haven't seen it. Do you follow Broadway plays?

E: No not really, that one just got to me.

(COT smiles to herself thinking that the ludicrousness had come to an end.)

COT: So is there any special person sharing your life?

E: Are you not taking notes? I have told you about my cats haven't I? If you plan on repeating questions you have asked before we'll just end here. You can't seriously think that I have time for this!

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 25 Apr 2002 01:48:16

COT: Of course not. That's why I can't wait for you to go back into the studio and lock yourself up for 2, or even better, 3 years!

E: Can I take my cats with me?

COT: You can take Mush Mush for all I care.

E: No, he'll eat Nicky.

COT: Ah, so Nicky will be locked up there with you!

E: Only if Roma says so - she has a hatchet, you know.

COT: I remember that.

E: Cyanide, are YOU living with some dude?

COT: Why, my goodness, what a terribly personal question!

E: Then why do you ask me about it?

COT: Enya, for the first time, I think you have a point!

E: Where? On the top of my head?

COT: What?

E: Well, when I was born Baba dropped me on my head.

COT: What a terrible accident!

E: Well, she WAS sort of startled when 500 voices began wailing at my appearance. Things were noisy at home before then, you know.

COT: Enya, do you really play ALL the instruments on your recordings?

 

Reply author: davyd
Replied on: 25 Apr 2002 04:41:25

E: Yes, I play all the instruments. I used to have guest artists, but you know how it is with guests: they eat all the food, run up the phone bill, and leave towels on the floor.

COT: Like you've never done any of those things?

E: Of course not! I could never stand ulliean pipes anyway; they can only play in a few keys, and I kept having to rewrite my tunes to accomodate them.

COT: Why don't you have your relatives from Clannad as guests?

E: They're impostors! Posers! Wannabes! There is only ONE musical Brennan, and you're looking at her!

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 25 Apr 2002 05:49:22

COT:Wait a minute..there are 9 of you and you say you're the only musical one?

E: I said I'm the only MUSE-ical one you dumbo!

COT:I am Cyanide.

E:You know, whatever.

COT:What about a one off collaboration with Clannad?

E:You're asking for trouble.

COT:You mean there'll be a gunfight?

E:We are civilized people. We prefer fists! (Demonstrates a few killer uppercuts that would have floored Evander "the real deal" Holyfield.)

COT:*DODGING E's blows with desperate agility* Alright! Alright! You made your point very clear.

E:I made my uppercuts.

COT:You know, whatever.

E:I see my manner of speech is rubbing off on you.

COT:Just the crumbs will do.

E:So you'll stop bothering me about my private life now?

COT:Yes. I'll just focus on the public life. It seems more interesting as far as this interview shows.

E:Tell me COT, any other guest ever came this close to interesting on your show?

COT:Yeah.. your sister!

E:Which one?

COT:The one who does other people's hair.

E:Bridin?

COT:You know, whatever.

E:The truth is I made a few tunes for her album but she wanted to turn them into techno-dance-acid-rock fusion.

COT:What then?

E:I told her that she should never mention my contribution if she should turn it into a club mix.

COT:Why not?

E:Roma does not want any club to rival her hatchet.

COT:I see that was profound.

E:Ask me professionally and you shall find.

COT:Let's have a commercial break.

E:You can have your break as long as it's a commercial for my albums.

COT:Your insistence is my reflex action.

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 25 Apr 2002 14:35:11

ANNOUNCER: And now a brief commercial: Get down to your nearest CD store and buy A Day Without Rain, Enya's favourite CD. No, wait, that's Shepherd Moons, no, it's Watermark, no, wait, it's really The Memory Of Trees, no... oh what the heck, just go buy EVERYTHING by Enya!

COT: And welcome back to "In Your Face" and our enchanting interview ith Enya!

(Wild applause from members of the forum at enya.com)

COT: Enya, how about telling us your plans for your next CD?

E: Yes, I thought I would record some songs.

COT: Could you be a bit more specific?

E: Well, you know, an instrumental or two, a song in Gaelic, a song in Latin, a couple in English, and maybe one in a made-up language used by Hobbits.

COT: I see, and what will be the theme overall?

E: Me.

COT: You?

E: Yes, my life story, from my wee years in Gweedore to my still wee years in Killiney.

COT: Wheee, any working titles so far?

E: Do titles work? I thought I did all the work. Or is that Roma and Nicky? I get so confused.

COT: I know, dear, but how about the probable title of ONE new song?

 

Reply author: davyd
Replied on: 26 Apr 2002 04:44:41

E: Well, I can't use "Ascension" or "Sirenes". The rumors about those two nonexistent tunes are beyond belief -- my very own urban folklore myths! I never worry about titles anyway; mostly they come from the lyrics, and Roma writes those. The trick is to come up with titles that make sense and that the Forum Peeps can also satirize -- that makes Roma maddest!

COT: Have you considered releasing an album of all the B-sides?

E: Why do they call them B-sides? CD's have only 1 side with music on them! No I don't think so. There's a reason they were never on the albums in the first place.

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 26 Apr 2002 17:06:06

COT: Tell me, how does Roma feel about "Forum Peeps"?

E: She thinks they need a life. Or, maybe a life sentence.

COT: So, she gets angry when people satirize her lyrics?

E: Angry? Have you ever seen a volcano erupt?

COT: Dear, there are no volcanoes in Ireland.

E: Yes there is - it's Roma! When she's mad, I call her The Last of the Red Hot Lavas.

COT: Enya, was that a bad pun?

E: Compared to the ones at the forum at enya. com it's really good!

COT: Enya, why won't you write to those poor lost souls and say hello?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 27 Apr 2002 04:52:30

E:Write to them ? I'm writing with them on the Board!

COT:What???

E:Hush..don't tell Roma..I cannot disclose my secret screen name!

COT:Your peeps haven't figured that out?

E:Alphabets are used so I don't expect them to figure things out.

COT:Are you one of the better behaved members or the mischievous ones?

E:That's for you Peeps to find out!

COT:I can't BELIEVE THIS !!!!!!!!!!

E:Good, then can we go on to the last segment of the show?

COT:Yes. Er..I heard you planned to do a live performance specially for this show. From that, we will syndicate footage of the performance to all cable tv channels and NET video streaming services!

E:I knew I'd get exposure on your show but NOT over exposure!

COT:I assure you we have competent camera crews!

E:May I double check?

COT:We send only crossed cheques!

E:*Says nothing* Gives COT a cheeky grin. Reaches behind her back and

brandishes a water pistol. Aims squarely at COT.

SSSSPPPLLLLOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH !!

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 27 Apr 2002 17:49:21

COT: My, that was refreshing. Thanks, I needed that.

E: Is my piano ready? I brought it here in the back of my limo.

COT: You carry your own piano with you?

E: It's a big limo.

COT: I'll have to check on that. Meanwhile, Enya, what song would you like to sing for us.

E: Why, my favoutite song, of course!

COT: And that is....?

E: Depends.

COT: You said you didn't use them yet - get back on track.

E: I love race tracks.

COT: What song???

E: Do you like horses?

COT: Probably not as much as you do.

E: I like cats.

COT: The SONG, please the SONG!

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 11:00:12

E:Let the people remove the piano from the limo and then I'll decide.

COT:I thought you're the sort who plans meticulously, from start to the end.

E:Well, logically speaking, don't you think the piano should be removed first?

COT:I was just thinking that maybe you'd have decided which song to sing

for us by now.

E:If you're talking about just me and the piano, there aren't too many single vocal pieces in my repertoire.

COT:Can I take a stab then?

E:Watch it COT.....this is family entertainment. Take your violence to the wrestling ring.

COT:Why not boxing ring?

E:I have a share in it. It's really not that violent once you have me in it.

COT:Alright. We'll tell the people to unload the piano then.

E:It's being unloaded as we speculate and try to distract the audience from the actual purpose of this show.

COT:You're starting to sound like a host.

E:Somebody's got to be the sane one on stage here.

COT:* seething with rage and fire starts spouting out of both ears *

E:My..you really need an ANGER MANAGEMENT course, big time!* unholsters her water pistol and aims two shots into each fire spouting ear *

SPLAT ! SPLAT ! SPLAT ! SPLAT !

COT:I can understand why you decided to donate ALL proceeds from the ONLY TIME remixed single to the firefighters' fund!

E:Oh..that was Roma's idea.

COT:Right...they carry axes and she carries hatchets. Relative !

E:Actually her father served as a firefighter!

COT:Can you start singing and playing for us soon..I don't know how long I can take this abuse!

E: *giggles* You'd have it much worse if you'd held the show at Manderley!

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 14:59:38

(A piano, a very large piano, is brought on stage by severalstrange looking creatures called Dom, kerrykait, Opera Ghost, Princess Donegal, etc)

COT: Well, here's your piano.

E: Where are the flowers?

COT: Flowers?

E: I want red roses on the piano.

COT: Well, this wasn't in the contract, and beseides I'm allergic to flowers.

E: Then let's get lots and lots of them right now!

COT: Wait...

(Enya pulls 12 dozen bouquets out of her purse.)

(Cyanide begins to sneeze violently.)

E: Poor dear, do you want a kleenex?

COT: I want you to sing!!

E: Where are the violinists with the wigs?

COT: That wasn't in the contract either.

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 16:25:19

E:Read the small print COT.

COT:Here's the contract but I can't see any provisions for such preposterous demands.

E:They are roses and violin players who look like clones of each other.

COT:I see you're a closet fan of Robert Palmer's videos.

E:Yeah..real neat ..yeah.. especially in the "Simply Irresistible" video. But I'm not the sort to go around in a suit with a bunch of clones.

COT:Why is that so?

E:Wearing a suit on video is so..so.. Annie Lennox!

COT:Back to your stage demands now...

E:Give me the contract! (takes contract from COT's hands) See..you have to place this thing under a bright light...shine the limelight here please... yes..now turn it up..turn it up...ah.. that's it!

COT:Orinoco Flow ??

E:Now read the small print

COT:Eh ????? Now the words seem to have magnified...

E:Please read what you see.

COT:Enya's exclusive performance requires at least a few dozen red roses and a dozen musicians who look like clones of each other or those bedecked in 18th Century attire complete with white wigs.

E:I want those musicians and clones.

COT:Not just like that.

E:Well it's time you come in handy.

COT:I'm not going to pretend to be a violin!

E:Fine.I'll ask your show's Chorus Singers and Musicians to be my back up!

COT:Why????

E:They have listened to all my albums an average of 730 times per year! They should play everything by ear!

COT:OK ..but that means that I will sing back up with you!

E:Hm..... hmmm.....hmmmm...hhmm...hmmm...

COT:You're not singing 'Boadicea' right now are you?

E:I'm thinking, COT.

COT:Can I sing with you?

E:Stand behind the microphone.

COT:Yes.

E:Gentlemen, pull the trapdoor!

COT:AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!

E:You have just enough of the higher registry for the harmonies!

COT:*Climbs back onstage* That was unexpected.

E:Heh.. wait till the performance.

COT:I can hardly wait. Ready everyone ?

E:Ready whenever the audience is.

AUDIENCE:YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 16:43:07

ENYA SINGS:

"Maire had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,
Maire had a little lamb,'
but I went after cat."

(COT swoons.)

E: Cyanide, are you swooning at the beauty of my singing?(COT groans audibly.)

E: Well, I have another one, if it will make you feel better.

ENYA SINGS:

O Baba-mom, the pipes, the pipes are calling

from Gweedore's head along the valley side,

the sun, the sun is finally brightly shining

and the cat I had was great for dining.

COT: Enya, what about your OWN songs?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 17:08:01

E:Let me do my favourites first and then I'll see if I can remember the lyrics!

One o'clock, two o'clock , three o'clock ROCK

four o'clock, five o'clock, six o'clock ROCK

seven o'clock, eight o'clock, nine o'clock ROCK

We're gonna ROCK around the clock tonight.....

COT:ARRGGGHHHH!

E:What's the matter?

COT:Why are you doing Rock 'n' Roll??

E:You're just too old fashioned, COT.

COT:Yeah..I'm a square.

Enya launches into song and sings "You're so square, baby I don't care!"

COT:Oh My Gawd!

E:Sorry..I don't know any song with that title!

COT:May it be that this pain shall end!

E:You're kidding. I've already done that one on the World Music Awards and the Oscars. Call for something else!

COT:EXILE!

E:I seem to have forgotten the lyrics!

COT:Oh my aching head!

E:No fear..I shall keep to the same melody but with vocalisations. It's called "As Baile". Only previously available as a B side. It still is!

*Starts singing*

O-ro, o-ro, o-ray, heee ooohhh rooo ohh ayyy............

 

Reply author: kerrykait
Replied on: 28 Apr 2002 23:48:38

COT: I must interrupt this spectacle with a word from our sponsor!

ANOUNCER: Our sponsor cannot believe that over 730 people have accessed this interview...Now, back to "In Your Face".

COT: Thank you. Well, folks, during the break I slipped Enya a Prozac and she will now be more agreeable, won't you dear?

E: I want my Mommy...

COT: Baba is in Gweedore, love, she can't help you now!

SUDDEN TURMOIL: In rushes Roma Ryan and hits Enya over the head with a hatchet. Enya regains consciousness. Roma runs off, yelling Dom of the Web, Dom of the Web...

E: Hi, Cyanide, what was I going to sing?

COT: One of your own songs, please.

E: But I like Danny Boy and all that "Roots" stuff.

COT: Then, why did you leave Clannad?

E: Well, Maire wanted to take Clannad in a new direction: operetta.

COT: I beg your pardon?

E: And well you should. Anyway, she wanted us to perform Gilbert and Sullivan stuff, like the Pirates of Gweedore.

COT: Gilbert and Sullivan never wrote the Pirates of Gweedore!

E: Well, they should have. Anyway, I don't do operetta, so I persuaded Nicky to come with me.

COT: Hmmm, that's not the usual version we've all heard.

E: Maybe I lied?

COT: Enya, please, perform a song of your very own, now, here!

E: Darn it, I wanted to do Marble Halls, but I didn't write it, so I guess I can't.

COT: You didn't write Marble Halls?

E: No, you ninny, I ripped off an old hymn that Baba liked.

COT: Well, how about one of your Latin songs? Surely you didn't rip them off?

 

Reply author: dom
Replied on: 29 Apr 2002 17:41:45

E: No rip offs. Only rip ups!

COT:Excuse me?

E:Well Roma wrote it on a piece of paper and I was in one of those moods...I nearly tore the paper to shreds!

COT:So have you stopped using paper?

E:Yes. Roma uses parchment!

COT:How do you get parchment?

E:Each time Roma cooks up some Irish Lamb Stew I know she has some lyrical ideas which have to be written down!

COT:Ah..the bleating clues.

E:Silly! The lambs just stay quiet in the pot! Only the parchment reminds us of the splendid meals!

COT:Enya..are you going to sing another song for us?

E:If you'll remove yourself from my piano seat!

COT:Of course.What will you play now?

E:This piano.

 

Reply author: Princess Donegal
Replied on: 29 Apr 2002 18:14:40

COT: *rolling her eyes* Oh, I was hoping you'd play the glass harmonica.

E: Well, if that's what you want, I guess I can humor you.

COT: No, no, NO! I want you to play the piano, you fool!!!

E: Well that kind of an attitude isn't going to get you very far, Cyanide.

COT: Please just play.

E: *sighs* Very well. Just to make you happy.

A breathtaking performance of "Fallen Embers" ensues.

COT: *staring in admiration* Enya, that was... lovely. I was truly touched.

E: *smiling* Glad you enjoyed it, Cyanide.

COT: And to think, all this time I've thought of you as an insane psychotic freak. But you're so enchanting!

E: Thank you. No need to flatter me. *smiles*

COT: I've noticed a change in you, Enya. Why are you suddenly being so sweet?

E: Just thought I'd be serious for a bit.

COT: You mean, you're not really crazy?

E: *laughing brightly* I'm only trying to show my fans my playful side. I don't think they see enough of it.

COT: You really do care about what your fans think?

E: Of course! My fans are very important to me. I really do care what they think. I obviously wouldn't bother with them if I didn't care.

COT: And what do you mean by that?

E: *grinning* I think I already answered that.

COT: How so?

E: Sometimes, I think people rush through life with their eyes closed, Cyanide. You know what I mean?

COT: I understand.

E: If they would stop and look around, if they would just take a moment to examine things... Goodness, look at me carrying on. *shakes her head* Do continue with your questions.

COT: That was beautiful. I kind of don't want to move on, but I'm once again being glared at by the producer. What's your daily routine?